either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
