hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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