He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
