mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
