Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
