like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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