Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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