Me too!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
