well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
