We got so high we made milksteak
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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