so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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