In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I will die if light touches me.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Alive.
So much puke
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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