i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize