You work out of a Hotel?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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