Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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