i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
