its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
