every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
