wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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