Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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