Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
