O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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