Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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