yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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