last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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