stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
