our cab driver is having phone sex.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
