ugly people sure do ruin things
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
