you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
