im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
