So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
