check it out our google latitudes are spooning
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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