Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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