he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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