yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Someone came in the potted fern
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
