next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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