we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
