i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
