Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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