wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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