we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We have started to decorate penises.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
