We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
