i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
