I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
