Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
