And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
