oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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