you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
