i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
