so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
