What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
