ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
