Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
