DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
