So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
