I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize