so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
