so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
